Wouldn't you just rather know what to expect than to wonder what is going to happen? In Dennis' finance class at church one of the principles he teaches is that "if you keep doing what you're doing, you're going to keep getting what you are now getting"... so operating on that theory, I don't want to keep getting what I've been getting so I'm going to do something different !
In just a few hours I will be undergoing my first chemotherapy treatment for breast cancer. The oncologist put his arm around me as I left there last Thursday and took me to the chemo nurses saying... "now look, Laurie is my friend. You'd better treat her well." It was a nice gesture but completely unnecessary. I've never seen a staff so attentive and compassionate and never had so many hugs from people I do not know... nevertheless, I am suffering some trepedition this morning as we head into the unknown. Lots of people have done it before, I'm telling myself, and they are all around me at church, in the stores, everywhere I go ... and my mind understands that but my mother's heart just wants to know what will happen from here. Will I be able to finish sorting out the Visiting Teaching routes to pass along to the new R.S. Pres or will my brain be mush and not able to concentrate on anyting --- oh, wait, --- too late on that one~! Will I be able to still hold Hadley and Kameron and have a tickle party with Kyle? How can I explain things to Brianna so she won't worry ? Will I be enough of myself when our granddaughters come from Michigan that they will think I am the same Grandma? Will our "Pocatello kids" have a wonderful experience in Moscow like we are praying theyand feel that they will ? Do all of our children and their spouses and our grandchildren know how much we treasure them and love them with all of our hearts? Do they know our most fervent wish for them is to live the gospel, to be sweet and patient with one another ? Do they know that I KNOW THE GOSPEL IS TRUE and THAT I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THE OUTPOURING OF BLESSINGS WE ARE RECEIVING IN OUR LIVES? Do they know that I KNOW GOD IS OUR FATHER AND HE IS IN CHARGE OF THINGS AND GAVE US HIS GREATEST GIFT IN HIS SON JESUS CHRIST TO ATONE FOR US...NOT JUST FOR OUR SINS (which is a HUGE gift in itself) BUT ALSO FOR OUR MALADIES AND SUFFERING IN THIS WORLD. I love our Savior, Jesus Christ, and know that He is watching over all of us. Do they know? Maybe I'm not going too far into the unknown after all.
2 comments:
We do know. Thank you for sharing your testimony with us not only in words but in your example and actions as well. Good luck in your first Chemo session today. You're in our thoughts and prayers.
Of course we know. Had you not said anything, we still would have known all of those things because of the way you are. Lots of love and good chemo kharma wishes your way!!!
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